Do you realize we've had a month's worth of show in order to arrive at the usual starting point of 16 players? Crazy.
THE SWAP
First, a quick word about this week's recap title. It began as a typo, but when James was picked by Natalie and in turn picked Alexis, the editors showed us Parvati gritting her teeth and bearing it.
vidcaps by fat little fingers
Hell, and a woman scorned, or what?!?! Looks to me like there's competition for James' affections.
It's true that James was forced to choose a member of the Fans' tribe but unlike other seasons, he wasn't obliged to pick a woman. Even though the pair ended up on the same tribe, there may be trouble afoot for the Flirty One and Her Love Machine.
Natalie and Ozzy were team captains, because they picked the orange stone out of a bag of purple stones. Or was it a purple stone from a bag of orange? Ugh! My notes just aren't detail-oriented enough. Anyhoo, here's how the tribes shook out in order of who picked whom. Each new member selected the next.
New Airai: Natalie, James, Alexis, Jonathan, Jason (whom Jonathan called Boy In Blue), Parvati, Kathy, Eliza.
New Malakal: Ozzy, Joel (whom Ozzy called Troy), Amanda, Eric, Ami, Tracy, Cirie, Chet.
The early choosers had their run of the other tribe. But, since between them they've booted three men and only one woman, someone had to end up with an imbalanced tribe. New Airai began life with 5 females and 3 males, New Malakal with 4 males and 4 females. Natalie's choice of James and Ozzy's choice of Joel both seem based on appearance: "big strong guy." Interesting that both Joel and James chose females when Eric, Jason and Jonathan remained to be selected. The two couples Parvati & James and Amanda & Ozzy remain together as couples although they are now on opposite tribes. I wonder if Ozzy influenced Joel's choice. How else would Joel have known which girl to pick first?
At New Airai, Jonathan no longer has any of his "older folks" pals with him, unless you include Eliza and I expect he doesn't. As for the Fans on this tribe, they appear to come from all four corners of the old Fan tribe. We know very little about the Fans when you think about it: they are all caricatures among this group. Kathy the kooky outcast, Jason the self-outcasted outcast, Alexis the happy go lucky camper, and Natalie the almost completely silent.
At New Malakal, Ozzy has Amanda. It's very possible Ami and Cirie are better allies than they were before, having cleared up the misunderstanding that led to Ami writing Cirie's name down a couple of eps ago. Tracy seems to be in a good position having Chet and Eric around, but who knows how long either of them will vote alongside her.
A couple of other points. Eliza and Chet were left until last. This show humiliates people on a regular basis doesn't it? Joel made a point of groaning to find himself about being stuck on the same tribe with Chet. Meanwhile, Jason made the mistake of mispronouncing Parvati's name. Chances are Parvati will find a way to exact retribution.
photochop by ZombieLinda
Now that they're no longer Fans v Favorites, I'll have to remember to use their given tribe names, Airheads and Malaria.
OZZY'S HII
Ozzy reminded us he found the Hidden Immunity Idol and showed us where he hid it at his campsite. Uh oh. Why'd they tell us? We already knew there was to be a tribe swap. There can have been only one purpose to showing us Ozzy hiding his HII: to create chaos among the viewership. And guess what? It worked. Half the viewers were worried, the other half hopeful, that Ozzy would end up at the other campsite, HII-less. I was among the former, until I worked out that Ozzy wouldn't need to sneak back to his former campsite in the dead of night, since he's already proven he's quite comfortable just showing up in the middle of the day to make friends and steal stuff. He may even have been hoping he'd have that excuse to give him the opportunity to spy on the new tribe. In any event, it's more likely than not that he wasn't particularly worried about being swapped to the other campsite.
Ozzy told us he wasn't planning to show the HII to anyone. That's good thinking, but two seconds later he was telling first James, then Amanda and Parvati, that he'd found it. What the hell did he do that for? Especially given Ozzy's statement he "knows" he can trust Parvati and "hopes" he can trust his main dolly-bird squeeze, Amanda. Why tell them when there's not even a danger of going to TC? And it's not like Ozzy is a n00bie, ignorant of the workings of this game. Maybe it was with the possibility of a tribe swap in mind that he told them. This way there's a bond that will hold them together at the merge.
As for trusting an alliance partner more than a bedmate alliance partner, perhaps that is a function of the less than stellar track record romantic entanglements have on reality TV. Rob & Amber are the only couple to have hooked up and gone "all the way" (hahaha) on the show and in life. Clearly Ozzy does not feel he and Amanda have the same kind of connection, if he holds Parvati in higher esteem than Amanda when it comes to trustworthiness with his deep game secrets.
REWARD CHALLENGE
Maybe it was not the most brutal RC ever, but it's definitely up there with the top 3. There have been some that seemed more brutal, but this one resulted in a number of serious injuries. Jonathan got a stick wedged into his knee (which made a change from having it lodged up his butt.) His wound required 3 stitches and we were treated to the sights and sounds of the impromptu operating theatre. The word is that Jonathan might be in serious trouble, even having to be air-lifted out of the game next episode. Yikes!
Less serious injuries include Parvati's, she got a fat lip. Ami was shown limping. But worst of all, Joel made me feel sorry for Chet. I know Chet has been doing a damn fine impersonation of a sack of potatoes, so I understand how Joel got the idea that he was a sack of potatoes. It's just that at the end of the RC, there was an exchange of dialogue that made me think, "Hey, maybe there's a human being in there after all."
Chet: "I hit my head back there."
Joel: "I don't care."
Chet: "I know."
Sad! But come on, Chet. You gotta do your share around camp. It's wrong that Joel should feel entitled to treat you so badly and be so cavalier about your well-being. It's wrong that so many viewers were cheering him on, too. But man, you kind of earned it being such a lazy-ass at camp and so useless in challenges.
CHICKENS
I was reading up a little on chickens. Losing one of their group will have been a little disconcerting for them. I hope someone other than Chet is taking extra care with the remaining members of the flock. That guy's face is so miserable looking, it is sure to depress them even more.
FUN WITH REWARDS
How interesting that post-RC, we spent a little time with New Malaria, so we could hear from Ice Cream Scooper Eric how awed he is to meet Ozzy. For his part, Ozzy compared Chet to one of the chickens, and not very high up the pecking order at that. We also heard from Joel about how depressing it is to still be stuck with Chet, but the bright side is Chet is more expendable than himself. All those hours of pouring over miles of footage pay off with the wonder of irony.
With all that said, it was time to go watch the Airheads at their disaster of a campsite. Jason busied himself building a fire to cook their winnings but forgot to place said fire above the high tide mark. Useless tribe has useless campsite, go figure!
Cameraman must have been hip-deep in water to get the
shot, but what a shot! God, how stupid are the Airheads.
Alexis was allowed out of her cage to exult over having tribe members who could actually get things done efficiently and competently. Within an hour the tribe had a new campsite, new shelter and I suppose, finally got to enjoy their reward meal.
AMANDA!!
Wow. Amanda is really still here! She finally got to do something besides kiss Ozzy. She went to the net to see if there were anything in it, and she returned holding a baby shark! This tribe is doing very well, food-wise. Ozzy cooed over his girl wrestling sharks. And, I note, managing to not get bitten in the process.
MORE ABOUT CHET
In the opening scene of the episode, Chet appeared to be performing a valuable task for the tribe: blowing away mosquitoes. Mr. AMAI set me straight: Chet was just horking up a loogy. Oh well. I tried to find a justification for his continued existence in the game.
Then later at the IC, the tribe made a crucial mistake of letting Chet hold an important position: that of the play caller who sits in a high chair. Chet is a big enough baby for the high chair, but the tribe doesn't realize he actually needs to wear glasses. He was required to see the big picture (to paraphrase Jonathan)... but he forgot to tell the tribe he can't see things that are far away:
photoshop by platinumtic
Not that Eliza & Parvati were complaining.
image by craig
MACHINATIONS POST-IC
Pre-IC, there had been some discussion among the Malaria menfolk about which half of the tribe, Fans or Favorites, would have the "upper hand" after the tribe's first visit to TC. Talk about overdoing the pre-planning. Moreover, by post-IC, Joel no longer cared about "numbers," he just wanted to be rid of Chet. Joel spelled it out for Ozzy: first Chet, then Cirie, then Tracy. Eric was detailed to sound out Cirie and Amanda on the Get Rid Of Chet plan. Eric must have done a terrible job at answering Cirie's question, "Who's next after Chet?" Cirie filled us in, while Ozzy gnashed his teeth. Poor Ozzy figured it was simple. Get rid of the "weak ones," right? Chet, right?
Wrong. Cirie was shown correctly figuring that she was lumped in with the weaker tribe members and realized if she waited until after Chet was gone, she'd be without enough extra votes to save herself. Why wait? Either she went to Tracy or Tracy went to her, but the bottom line is they realized they'd be following Chet out the door. The truly amazing part is they managed to convince Ozzy to agree to boot Joel. Obviously when your tribe has Cirie, Ami and Tracy on it, watch out! Even if it means leaving your tribe too weak to win another challenge.
Yeah, I have a bad feeling about this. Sure, it's a good idea to get rid of assholes. I just hope Ozzy gives Chet a good talking-to and makes him understand he has to do more than bathe himself. Sure, he's preventing himself from being a literal stinker around camp. But when everyone can do with some bathing products and a hot shower, the trick is to not be a figurative stinker.
NEXT TIME
Jason gets deceived by the fake idol Ozzy made. ZombieLinda coined the term, "Douchekebab."
photochop by ZombieLinda
Thanks for reading.
* * *
Are you also watching American Idol? Check out the AI forum here.
Check out SirLinksalot: Survivor Micronesia for more recaps & articles on this show
THE SWAP
First, a quick word about this week's recap title. It began as a typo, but when James was picked by Natalie and in turn picked Alexis, the editors showed us Parvati gritting her teeth and bearing it.
vidcaps by fat little fingers
Hell, and a woman scorned, or what?!?! Looks to me like there's competition for James' affections.
It's true that James was forced to choose a member of the Fans' tribe but unlike other seasons, he wasn't obliged to pick a woman. Even though the pair ended up on the same tribe, there may be trouble afoot for the Flirty One and Her Love Machine.
Natalie and Ozzy were team captains, because they picked the orange stone out of a bag of purple stones. Or was it a purple stone from a bag of orange? Ugh! My notes just aren't detail-oriented enough. Anyhoo, here's how the tribes shook out in order of who picked whom. Each new member selected the next.
New Airai: Natalie, James, Alexis, Jonathan, Jason (whom Jonathan called Boy In Blue), Parvati, Kathy, Eliza.
New Malakal: Ozzy, Joel (whom Ozzy called Troy), Amanda, Eric, Ami, Tracy, Cirie, Chet.
The early choosers had their run of the other tribe. But, since between them they've booted three men and only one woman, someone had to end up with an imbalanced tribe. New Airai began life with 5 females and 3 males, New Malakal with 4 males and 4 females. Natalie's choice of James and Ozzy's choice of Joel both seem based on appearance: "big strong guy." Interesting that both Joel and James chose females when Eric, Jason and Jonathan remained to be selected. The two couples Parvati & James and Amanda & Ozzy remain together as couples although they are now on opposite tribes. I wonder if Ozzy influenced Joel's choice. How else would Joel have known which girl to pick first?
At New Airai, Jonathan no longer has any of his "older folks" pals with him, unless you include Eliza and I expect he doesn't. As for the Fans on this tribe, they appear to come from all four corners of the old Fan tribe. We know very little about the Fans when you think about it: they are all caricatures among this group. Kathy the kooky outcast, Jason the self-outcasted outcast, Alexis the happy go lucky camper, and Natalie the almost completely silent.
At New Malakal, Ozzy has Amanda. It's very possible Ami and Cirie are better allies than they were before, having cleared up the misunderstanding that led to Ami writing Cirie's name down a couple of eps ago. Tracy seems to be in a good position having Chet and Eric around, but who knows how long either of them will vote alongside her.
A couple of other points. Eliza and Chet were left until last. This show humiliates people on a regular basis doesn't it? Joel made a point of groaning to find himself about being stuck on the same tribe with Chet. Meanwhile, Jason made the mistake of mispronouncing Parvati's name. Chances are Parvati will find a way to exact retribution.
photochop by ZombieLinda
Now that they're no longer Fans v Favorites, I'll have to remember to use their given tribe names, Airheads and Malaria.
OZZY'S HII
Ozzy reminded us he found the Hidden Immunity Idol and showed us where he hid it at his campsite. Uh oh. Why'd they tell us? We already knew there was to be a tribe swap. There can have been only one purpose to showing us Ozzy hiding his HII: to create chaos among the viewership. And guess what? It worked. Half the viewers were worried, the other half hopeful, that Ozzy would end up at the other campsite, HII-less. I was among the former, until I worked out that Ozzy wouldn't need to sneak back to his former campsite in the dead of night, since he's already proven he's quite comfortable just showing up in the middle of the day to make friends and steal stuff. He may even have been hoping he'd have that excuse to give him the opportunity to spy on the new tribe. In any event, it's more likely than not that he wasn't particularly worried about being swapped to the other campsite.
Ozzy told us he wasn't planning to show the HII to anyone. That's good thinking, but two seconds later he was telling first James, then Amanda and Parvati, that he'd found it. What the hell did he do that for? Especially given Ozzy's statement he "knows" he can trust Parvati and "hopes" he can trust his main dolly-bird squeeze, Amanda. Why tell them when there's not even a danger of going to TC? And it's not like Ozzy is a n00bie, ignorant of the workings of this game. Maybe it was with the possibility of a tribe swap in mind that he told them. This way there's a bond that will hold them together at the merge.
As for trusting an alliance partner more than a bedmate alliance partner, perhaps that is a function of the less than stellar track record romantic entanglements have on reality TV. Rob & Amber are the only couple to have hooked up and gone "all the way" (hahaha) on the show and in life. Clearly Ozzy does not feel he and Amanda have the same kind of connection, if he holds Parvati in higher esteem than Amanda when it comes to trustworthiness with his deep game secrets.
REWARD CHALLENGE
Maybe it was not the most brutal RC ever, but it's definitely up there with the top 3. There have been some that seemed more brutal, but this one resulted in a number of serious injuries. Jonathan got a stick wedged into his knee (which made a change from having it lodged up his butt.) His wound required 3 stitches and we were treated to the sights and sounds of the impromptu operating theatre. The word is that Jonathan might be in serious trouble, even having to be air-lifted out of the game next episode. Yikes!
Less serious injuries include Parvati's, she got a fat lip. Ami was shown limping. But worst of all, Joel made me feel sorry for Chet. I know Chet has been doing a damn fine impersonation of a sack of potatoes, so I understand how Joel got the idea that he was a sack of potatoes. It's just that at the end of the RC, there was an exchange of dialogue that made me think, "Hey, maybe there's a human being in there after all."
Chet: "I hit my head back there."
Joel: "I don't care."
Chet: "I know."
Sad! But come on, Chet. You gotta do your share around camp. It's wrong that Joel should feel entitled to treat you so badly and be so cavalier about your well-being. It's wrong that so many viewers were cheering him on, too. But man, you kind of earned it being such a lazy-ass at camp and so useless in challenges.
CHICKENS
I was reading up a little on chickens. Losing one of their group will have been a little disconcerting for them. I hope someone other than Chet is taking extra care with the remaining members of the flock. That guy's face is so miserable looking, it is sure to depress them even more.
FUN WITH REWARDS
How interesting that post-RC, we spent a little time with New Malaria, so we could hear from Ice Cream Scooper Eric how awed he is to meet Ozzy. For his part, Ozzy compared Chet to one of the chickens, and not very high up the pecking order at that. We also heard from Joel about how depressing it is to still be stuck with Chet, but the bright side is Chet is more expendable than himself. All those hours of pouring over miles of footage pay off with the wonder of irony.
With all that said, it was time to go watch the Airheads at their disaster of a campsite. Jason busied himself building a fire to cook their winnings but forgot to place said fire above the high tide mark. Useless tribe has useless campsite, go figure!
Cameraman must have been hip-deep in water to get the
shot, but what a shot! God, how stupid are the Airheads.
Alexis was allowed out of her cage to exult over having tribe members who could actually get things done efficiently and competently. Within an hour the tribe had a new campsite, new shelter and I suppose, finally got to enjoy their reward meal.
AMANDA!!
Wow. Amanda is really still here! She finally got to do something besides kiss Ozzy. She went to the net to see if there were anything in it, and she returned holding a baby shark! This tribe is doing very well, food-wise. Ozzy cooed over his girl wrestling sharks. And, I note, managing to not get bitten in the process.
MORE ABOUT CHET
In the opening scene of the episode, Chet appeared to be performing a valuable task for the tribe: blowing away mosquitoes. Mr. AMAI set me straight: Chet was just horking up a loogy. Oh well. I tried to find a justification for his continued existence in the game.
Then later at the IC, the tribe made a crucial mistake of letting Chet hold an important position: that of the play caller who sits in a high chair. Chet is a big enough baby for the high chair, but the tribe doesn't realize he actually needs to wear glasses. He was required to see the big picture (to paraphrase Jonathan)... but he forgot to tell the tribe he can't see things that are far away:
photoshop by platinumtic
Not that Eliza & Parvati were complaining.
image by craig
MACHINATIONS POST-IC
Pre-IC, there had been some discussion among the Malaria menfolk about which half of the tribe, Fans or Favorites, would have the "upper hand" after the tribe's first visit to TC. Talk about overdoing the pre-planning. Moreover, by post-IC, Joel no longer cared about "numbers," he just wanted to be rid of Chet. Joel spelled it out for Ozzy: first Chet, then Cirie, then Tracy. Eric was detailed to sound out Cirie and Amanda on the Get Rid Of Chet plan. Eric must have done a terrible job at answering Cirie's question, "Who's next after Chet?" Cirie filled us in, while Ozzy gnashed his teeth. Poor Ozzy figured it was simple. Get rid of the "weak ones," right? Chet, right?
Wrong. Cirie was shown correctly figuring that she was lumped in with the weaker tribe members and realized if she waited until after Chet was gone, she'd be without enough extra votes to save herself. Why wait? Either she went to Tracy or Tracy went to her, but the bottom line is they realized they'd be following Chet out the door. The truly amazing part is they managed to convince Ozzy to agree to boot Joel. Obviously when your tribe has Cirie, Ami and Tracy on it, watch out! Even if it means leaving your tribe too weak to win another challenge.
Yeah, I have a bad feeling about this. Sure, it's a good idea to get rid of assholes. I just hope Ozzy gives Chet a good talking-to and makes him understand he has to do more than bathe himself. Sure, he's preventing himself from being a literal stinker around camp. But when everyone can do with some bathing products and a hot shower, the trick is to not be a figurative stinker.
NEXT TIME
Jason gets deceived by the fake idol Ozzy made. ZombieLinda coined the term, "Douchekebab."
photochop by ZombieLinda
Thanks for reading.
* * *
Are you also watching American Idol? Check out the AI forum here.
Check out SirLinksalot: Survivor Micronesia for more recaps & articles on this show
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