PRECRAP WAS NEVER SO MUCH FUN
Previously, "so not fair" and "fairytale." This week, the only ones getting drunk were on the TV. I was hard-pressed to decide on a proper drinking game for the recap. Am I scraping the bottom of the romantic barrel, sipping for the precrap? Maybe, but otherwise the only thing remotely paralyzed would be Lorenzo's smile, frozen in place.
Precrap heralds the return of Erica, among other things. Four roses will determine whose parents need to clean up their homes and their acts. Let's call it four sips' worth of precrap. I'm serious. This episode is devoid of enough material for any other sipping game. This season is the dullest yet.
Chris' Fun in the Sun. Once again, Chris lays out the dating itinerary: two 1 on 1 dates and 1 group date. Do you know? I think we can call that a 3-sip. Chris' blather is basically precrap, isn't it? In order to determine who gets the 1 on 1s, the girls enter a private room to answer a couple of questions. (1) Who is least deserving to become a princess? (2) Who is the most insincere girl in the house?
What? No "who is most compatible" question? I feel slightly cheated and I shouldn't. But the bitchiness quotient is reduced when the votes are centred on one person. Oops, I just precrapped. One sip!
Chris continues, "The person who will judge you and make the choices is someone you know." (Yes, that's another sip! Oh my god, this new sipping game could be better than Amazing Bitchy Fairytale.) We watch Erica arrive wearing her tiara and a pale pink cape. Hopefully she'll make a half-decent decision. Yes, if you didn't watch the show: Erica gets to judge. (Sip!)
Lisa DR-complains that Erica hasn't been honest, and behind their backs she's a bitch. Haha, coming from the Stepford Bitch, that is rich.
The Big Erica Interrogation. Watched by Erica on closed-circuit TV, Lisa declares that Jennifer doesn't deserve to be a princess. Her reasons appear to be that Jenn isn't pretty without makeup and is insincere. Everyone not named Lisa fingers Lisa as the most insincere or the least deserving to be a princess or both. (That sounds rather rude, doesn't it? Sorry it's not worth a sip.) Desiree adds that Lisa backstabbed every woman and has no regrets. Keen as I am to throw rotten eggs at Lisa, I really don't know when it was that Lisa actually backstabbed anyone here. Did I miss something or is that a bit of precrap? Let's sip once to be on the safe side. Sadie cries because she doesn't like saying bad stuff about others. The tears even seem somewhat genuine. Ads and more precrap happened here, I think, so that's another 3 sips. Better make sure there's enough wine chilling or cocktail mixed and waiting in that pitcher, readers.
Chris returns to make a side salad of introducing the one "most qualified to judge the truthfulness of" the girls' answers. Erica swishes in, "Hey bitches!" She DRs they were all shocked to learn she was the one doing the judging. I'm sure the looks of horror will keep Cruella cackling for a long time. She subsists on the misery of others.
Erica's big moment is basically announcing that some of the girls' revelations "shocked" her while others were more honest. Erica says a princess should have a good heart, and be fun (and that explains why Erica is out of the running). Her big piece of bitchiness is saying, "Some of you deserve to be a princess and some do not." Man, this is scintillating. Thank god Erica returned to fill this 2 minute hole in the program. And yet her facetime is so relatively bland that this episode's bitchiness isn't enough for two sips, let alone a whole episode's drinking game's worth. And that's the real reason I had to hunt for another drinking game. I'm surprised it took me so many seasons to think of drinking for the precrap!
Sadie sighs. It's a major sigh. She must be worrying that a princess is maybe not supposed to be a virgin. She silently vows to be more fun on her next opportunity to spend time with LoBlo. That feels like precrap to me: one sip.
Erica DRs Lisa is not princess material. Hmmm, if anyone else said it, it would be just bitchy. If Erica weren't holding The Power, it would be just bitchy. But given the circumstances, it's precrap! Sip!
The First One-on-One Date goes to … drum roll… Sadie. She is surprised. The little note says, "Fly away with me for a day of pampering." Those little notes have always been sipping opportunities! Who knew?!? Sadie trills, "Thanks, Erica!" and heads off to begin preparing for her date. Jennifer runs to help her. The other girls are left sitting around the kitchen table, with long faces. No, they are not pleased the Virgin got the date box. If it's a virgin he wants, these hos are out of luck.
Agnese is jealous because Erica didn't like her. But Erica didn't like Agnese solely because she sensed competition on a level on which she could not compete: the exotic foreign-born girl level. Ads with four-sip precrap.
LoBlo says he's glad to see that Sadie was chosen for one of these dates, but he needs to know if he likes her enough to go meet her parents. OMG, another piece of precrap. Don't get too excited, it's just a sip. But isn't that always the first thought when you meet someone in a bar and share a few hundred drinks? Only on TV shows like this one.
It's a small prop plane. Sadie exudes enthusiasm. LoBlo guides the plane up and Sadie goes, "You really do know how to fly, don't you?" "Yes." I guess she had her doubts about him having any actual talents besides smiling. Actually he isn't smiling very much during this outing. He is, after all, on a Fact-Finding Mission. He's trying to work out whether he could stand her for more than six hours. She rubs his arm in congratulations. He doesn't brush her off. She tells us that she finds him hot, cute and smart. Now she wants to kiss him, and maybe even make out with him for a while. Oh mama, you go girl! Also, 2 sips!
I must say, Sadie is doing a terrific job of enjoying the plane ride. She's cooing and smiling with what looks like genuine enthusiasm. He even lets her take the -- what is it called, the wheel? The crank? (Mr. AMAI tells me later it's called the yoke or something.) LoBlo DRs that Sadie would make a great pilot because she likes to take risks. Is that what I think it is? Sip! But I would have thought that might be a mark against. Now Sadie is ready to get her pilot's license. Good on ya, Sadie! Sip. It was quite the bonding experience and of course, she is pleased as punch to have had him all to herself. He helps her down from the wing of the plane. She adds, in case we missed it, "He wowed me."
It's funny, though. The Prince sounded and looked kind of blah throughout this Sadie date. It's like he's not really thrilled to bits with her, but he's doing his best to pretend to reciprocate her enthusiasm. I couldn't put my finger on it while taking notes, but later I thought it might be that he wishes he could find a reason to dump her, because he's not really that keen to deflower a virgin. Unfortunately, she's showing the right amount of enthusiasm and so on. Ads. With precrap. Four sips? Yes.
When we return, much time has evidently passed, for a gorgeous sunset lights up our screen. What else does one do at sunset but disrobe down to swimming outfits? She's in a bikini, he's in swimming trunks. They hop into a thermal hot tub. LoBlo says, "I'll be honest." Surely I'm not the only one whose ears kind of perked up a little bit, breathless to hear his revelation. Can you imagine what images and thoughts raced through Sadie's mind? Surely she came up with something much more thrilling than, "You're a very good pilot." Yes, that is what he said. That was his "big revelation," the thing he needed to preface with the remark, "I'll be honest." Does that make him an idiot or cruel? He's surprised and impressed by her ability to fly for 3 minutes and she claims to see him in a whole new light. Sadie's enthusiasm is undimmed. "I've always thought pilots are hot," she coos, and her face exudes readiness to link her arm and future through his. Sip and a half!
Apparently LoBlo touched her a little bit more on this occasion than on any previous time, which Sadie figured meant he was angling for a kiss. Although she must have spent the entire time in the pool with her lips poised for that kiss, it never materialized. She DRs sadly to recap herself.
Bimbette Central. Another next date box arrives and it's for the group date of the episode. Everyone is excited and hoping not to hear her name. Jeanette, Agnese, Lisa and Desiree: none of you are getting the other individual one-on-one date. The note drivels, "Let the games begin." That's a pathetic note but at least it's good for a sip. But now we all know Jennifer was chosen for the other 1 on 1. Lisa DRs she didn't come here to make best friends. Don't the bitchiest ones always say that? Lisa could probably do with a couple of friends, too. I'm just saying.
Back in Rome, the flying nones are on a rooftop. A red rose lays expectantly on its cushion. Sip! Sadie raises the 'saving myself' topic in order to comment that LoBlo "didn't skip a beat" when she told him. He correctly figures that other guys have gotten huffy or upset, but LoBlo is not like other guys, hungry for a quickie. At least, not with a woman. I'm really beginning to have my doubts about him, but maybe that's because the show would be more entertaining if he turned around at the end and announced this experience has made him realize he's gay. For the moment, he soft-pedals, "I'm not judging you for waiting to be with the right person. You're passionate."
Sadie finds it sexy that his reaction is so good. She is getting on my nerves. There's something untoward about a virgin who won't stop talking about kissing and making out when you know she's always going to call a halt to the proceedings as soon as things begin to heat up. She's really starting to look and sound desperate to get married just so she can have some nooky. This saving oneself business is so much hokey b.s. in my view. Sorry, but there it is. I mean, I can see making that kind of vow when you're in your teens, so you don't end up a teenage mom. But at 23? It's pathetic. Her first marriage seems destined for divorce court.
As if to prove my point, Sadie has convinced herself LoBlo has wanted to kiss her all day.
"Is that what you think?" he asks coyly, and I would hope I'm not the only one who found that reply to be weird and not what I'd have wanted to hear under the circumstances. How about, "Yes! I have!! May I?" It seemed more like a scoff to me, like, "Oh, don't you think you're smart? Well, missy, as a matter of fact, I haven't been thinking about kissing you and would not have thought of it if you hadn't mentioned it." But to maintain the illusion that he's just so hot to trot with Sadie, he leans in, ferret-like, and strains to touch her lips with his.
Here's more evidence for my theory that he's not into her: he says, "You probably read me like a book." Excuse me, "probably?" See? He wasn't really that keen to kiss her. Sadie unfurls her gift for him, a "fun" shirt that says "Whatever It Takes." That is supposed to motivate him to choose her. He's says he's excited to give her the rose AND is looking forward to giving her the rose. Overkill? Or just a couple of sips? You be the judge.
They smooch for a while. She's happy. He seems happy. Ads. Precrap. 4 sips.
Group Toga Party. Our four girls are to be Roman princesses for the evening. One of these weeks we will have a sipping game for the words "prince" and "princess." I have a feeling that will form our Sipping Game of choice for the finale. For now, the girls wear little white dresses, and shoes featuring long ties that snake up their slim calves.
Lisa reminds anyone who will listen that she knows nothing about Roman history because she's been too busy filling her ROM with Bachelor history. The date group head to the Roman Aqueducts, where they will participate in Chariot races. I must have misheard the prize: I thought LoBlow said the winner gets a witch. Is Erica returning yet again? But that's another sip, even if I don't know to what he's alluding.
A complicated round-robin of racing ensues. The girls paired up. Jeannette and Agnese beat Lisa and Desiree in Heat 1. Then Jeaneette beat Agnese for the right to race against LoBlo. If she beats him, she'll get her witch. LoBlo DRs the story so far, trying to make Jeanette's record of 2-0 sound imposing. Did she really do well, or was the attendant who accompanied each chariot given instructions to allow the last girl to win? Anyway, Jeannette wins and LoBlo says he learned Jeannette is fearless and a winner. Can't get anything past him. She DRs she wants LoBlo to meet her family. Sip! But she doesn't know what she wants for her wish. Oh, it's a wish! Not a witch. Phew on the non-return of Erica.
One would naturally think that her wish would be to receive a rose at the next ceremony so she can introduce Princey to the parents. We won't know for a while yet.
Meanwhile, Sadie and Jennifer are hanging out on the balcony when the final date box arrives. Although they already know which of them the date is for, they have no idea what the date will entail. The note says, "In Rome wishes really can come true." Oh, ah haha. Jeannette was too slow to make her wish, so it goes to Jennifer instead. Two sips, people! Perhaps I'm old, but even without the visual clues of a black lace purse filled with coin-like objects, I still knew they were going to that special Fountain. Jennifer is a poorly educated idiot and admits she has NO idea of what they're going to do. Jealous Sadie DRs she's "not the best sharer when it comes to guys."
Back to the Toga Party, where LoBlo informs the girls this is a roseless date. "Relax and just have fun." The girls sigh to prove they are "relaxing." Desiree blurts, "I forgot how much I missed tequila." She is just standing there when LoBlo runs up and pushes her into the water, earning his new nic. He does jump in after her, nearly crushing her. Everyone jumps in. The relaxation feels very forced.
Despite the "relax dammit" attitude of this date, each girl still receives one-on-one time. Agnese admits to being sad for herself when Sadie received the date box. LoBlo wonders if it would be weird to meet her parents because of the dun-dun-dunnnnh language barrier. Yay, another sip for precrap! Except he spells it out more awkwardly, all, "I no speaka de Italian, they no speaka de English." She bobbles her head in various directions, now having difficulty communicating in body language, what with the nearness of LoBlo and all.
LoBlo then says the most curious thing. He DR-declares, "Agnese is not in it for herself." Say what? What the hell does that mean, in this context? Is she representing her sister? Some girl who lives down the street? Of all the situations, this is one in which the girl most decidedly should be in it for herself. How can you be doing this for your family? If someone understands what LoBlo is talking about here, please do fill me in.
Meanwhile Lisa is yakking at the other girls, "He's got a big decision." She talks to Jeannette, who DRs she can't figure him out. Jeannette would have a hard time figuring out a paper bag. Lisa tells everyone who will listen that she has the hometown date all planned. First, they'll take the dog for a walk, then they'll go to her parents' house, where her brother will play waiter, then they'll go out for gelato. It does sound a little over-planned, doesn't it? But dammit if that's not four sips' worth of precrap.
Jeannette DRs Lisa is maybe playing a game. Maybe she is, and maybe Jeannette doesn't have anything more interesting to say than that. Why is Jeannette's facetime mostly about Lisa? Because in the great scheme of things, Lisa is more important to LoBlo, that's why.
LoBlo wants to know if Jeannette has thought about her wish. She hasn't, not really, so she says her wish is for him to enjoy this moment and have a good time. What an insipid girl. That's not even good enough for a precrap sip. LoBlo DRs he thought it was a cop-out, but then he cops-out from being so judgmental and claims he was somehow nevertheless "intrigued" by her doing that.
Lorenzo looks at all the girls, with their hopeful faces smiling and wistful. He hopes he doesn't send home his future wife. Sip! Ads. I'm beginning to hope he's already sent her home. And where are the girls running around ditching their bikinis, which footage we were promised last week? But ad break means precrap: I'm taking 3 sips.
Evening. Jennifer's One-on-One Date. She is excited and nervous. Of course she is. She's had to pack her bags in case she gets ditched mid-date. Woo! Sip! It doesn't matter whether she is eliminated or not, the bag-placement scene precraps the possibility. We watch her place them in the hallway so the footman can find them later.
Lisa and Desiree watch Jennifer and LoBlo head out. Then the two on the date knock back some drink or other during the limo ride to the Roman aqueduct. Once there, they transfer to a horse-drawn carriage, each bringing a bottle of beer with them. It's soooo classy. The constant boozing on the show makes my head spin. They're going to the Spanish Steps, he says. Jennifer DRs she forgot he was a prince "cuz he was so amazing." Eye.Roll.
They haven't just gone into Rome, but also out for dinner. Wow. Oooh. Oh Ah. The restaurant overlooks Vatican City and Jen oozes gratitude like she's been given a $32,000 necklace. As she leans in for a kiss, the camera pans to show us the rose waiting on its black cushion. Dun dun sip!
During dinner they actually talk about themselves and their lives. That's a nice variation on conversation topics. Jennifer says she's going for a Master's in counseling because she loves listening to people's problems and trying to solve them.
LoBlo: "Why can't I have more of these nights?"
Jennifer: "You're going out with the wrong people maybe."
LoBlo: "So I should keep going out with you?"
Jennifer: "Yes."
WOW. Problem solved! Give that girl her Master's degree and a T-shirt that says "I went to dinner with Lorenzo Borghese and all I got was a crappy view of Vatican City."
At Bimbette Central, the girls are drinking and ready for a little fun & games. Lisa interviews that most men couldn't pull off a white blazer. It sounds lewd but I think we all know what she means. She and Desiree drink and drink some more, then they run around the yard pulling off their bikinis. Literally. Little Blurry Circles leap to the rescue, lest the tender eyes of the viewing public be scorched with the sight of fresh young bits. Jeannette sits open-mouthed poolside, resembling a just-caught fish. She's never seen a young woman completely naked. She probably can't even look in the mirror at herself. Are we sure she's not secretly a virgin? Jeannette gapes some more, DR-ing she can't believe they are streaking. Desiree DRs it felt so good to go streaking. "Tequilya really worked," she adds, in case anyone wondered what made her behave so lasciviously.
Back to the Jennifer Date. LoBlo is asking her about her parents. "My parents are fabulous, and I'm really close with them. They met at a grocery store. My dad bagged my mom's groceries." Wow. Sounds like an interesting story. How old were they? 16? Oh, no time for confirmation on these details. I wonder if LoBlo even inquired. Sometimes the editing on the show makes him seem more disinterested than he probably is.
Instead, we dive straight into his story of how his parents met: in Madrid at a good friend's wedding. She was living in Spain & the US and he was living in Italy. This took place 40 years ago. So, both families are still together, with strong marriages, or so they would have us believe. LoBlo thinks there is one person for each person and it's a matter of just finding that one right person. :rolleyes. I've given it some thought and I do not buy that there is only one right person for each of us. If we're lucky we find a good person, but it doesn't mean there aren't others.
Time for the rose. He offers it, she accepts. He will meet the parents in Miami. Sip.
LoBlo has another tiresome surprise: they're at that fountain. The Trevi Fountain. You know, the one they made the movie about, Three Coins in the Fountain. We don't see him ask her whether she remembered to bring the special wish-making coins with her, but they seem to have objects to toss into the fountain, so presumably she did remember. A small meal is made of this. Beautiful blah blah make a wish blah blah most romantic moment of her life yada yada. She feels her wish is going to come true. "My perfect fairytale!" she says and everyone who was hoping to hear last week's magic word finally takes a good long swig on their drinks. Ads, with a dollop of precrap. 2 sips maximum.
Rose Ceremony. With only two roses to hand out and 4 women standing woodenly around, it's not much of a ceremony. Lisa, Jeannette, Desiree and Agnese vie for one of the two roses. I think he'll pick Jeannette because I'm easily fooled by declarations of interest. Of the other 3? Probably going to be Lisa, but I'm tired of how perky she is. I wish he'd pick Desiree because she seems more fun. Agnese turns me off and I'm tired of the way she speaks English. Let's see if I'm right.
LoBlo mutters something about roses, tonight being important and being true to your heart. We have to suffer through informal Last Chance Chat Ups.
Lisa wears the diamond earrings she received along with the first impression rose. She tells LoBlo she's nervous. "I know we had a great date but it was forever ago." He wants to know how she feels about seeing him take other girls aside and knowing he's on dates with other girls. Lisa pastes the fakest smile on her mug and nods her head, totally the Understanding Woman who knows it's all "part of the process." She is "totally okay" with all that's going on. Smile. Nod. Head turn. Earring shake. She is the complete Stepford Wife.
Desiree moans about Lisa to her chosen confidantes Jeannette and Agnese: one is an airhead and the other one struggles to comprehend every fifth word. Frankly, those descriptions might apply equally to either or both of them. They all seem to agree that Lisa having knowledge of what to say and when to say it gives her an advantage that makes her look to him like she's in love, but which they interpret as "being here for the wrong reasons." Jeannette tries to sound incisive, "If she doesn't have the right intent…" she begins, then loses her train of thought. Her fingers look wonky too. It's like she can't talk with her mouth or her hands. Desiree thinks Lisa thinks it is a game and that her heart isn't in it. I disagree. Lisa's heart is probably more in it BECAUSE she thinks it's a game. It's much easier to focus on "winning" than on the reality of "the prize."
Desiree intends to tell LoBlo she's here to fall in love. Sip! Only she doesn't. Instead, she blathers, "I feel something for you. I feel chemistry and connection. I would feel overwhelmed with proudness to introduce you to my family. I totally want to fall in love with a guy like you." A guy "like you." Yep, that's what she said. Is it any wonder he didn't pick her? Oops. I'm precrapping now. 1 sip! She wants someone like him, but not him. He replies, "I should be selling myself to you."
Jeannette's turn to blather: "Remember that wish you gave me? Well, I realize I wished for the lamest thing. (Uh oh. She wished for his happiness, or something. Her taking back of the wish is probably worse than bestowing it in the first place.) I am taking this seriously and to heart." These girls don't know how to express themselves at all. It's so pathetic. He tells her she's attractive and reminds her that she's still here. I feel like sipping. "Something about you I like." He can't think what that is, but then remembers that he basically kept her because he thought there might be more to her. Turns out, there isn't. Their faces kind of meet up in mid-air. He plants a kiss somewhere in the vicinity of her mouth.
Agnese is a bundle of nerves. More halting speech from her. "Tonight is intense. We all feel something for you?" It doesn't look as bad written down as it sounded coming out of her sip-hole.
Lisa comments to Jennifer that "they" can't communicate. She must mean Agnese and LoBlo, else why would the tidbit be inserted here?
LoBlo pre-excuses himself by telling Agnese that no matter what, he's enjoyed this time with her. He won't need the excuse in her case (sip), but I wonder if he said the same thing to all four of the women who would be attending the Rose Ceremony in hopes of being chosen for the next round. Agnese diaries, "I think he likes me but I don't know if there are other girls he likes much more." She's actually quite a sensible girl; it's just the language barrier that makes her seem an airhead.
Chris arrives and takes LoBlo away, presumably to moon over the pictures and try to keep his mind on the job at hand. He DRs that two are leaving. "I probably won't ever see them again." Sip! But did no-one tell him about "The Women Tell All" episode? Usually the bachelor/ette returns to face the incisive questioning by the rejects. Ads. Precrap. 1 sip. What's left to precrap at this point?
We return for the disbursement of the two roses. Everything is serious, with serious implications. Jennifer and Sadie have their roses and sit together smugly. Chris utters his measly couple of lines, "Only 2 roses left. Two are going home." Each season his facetime is reduced. I do think this is the least amount of time he's ever had. No doubt his salary increases.
LoBlo delivers another treacle speech: "Tonight I asked you to be yourself and open up to me and tell me who you are. The more you talked, the more I couldn't find any reasons to say goodbye. Thank you." Wow, does he mean that 'thank you?' The little bitches made it harder for him! I wonder what criteria he did use if he couldn't use what they said during their Last Chance Chat Ups.
Rose 1 goes to… Lisa. Yes she will accept. Smile. Turn. Grin. Turn. Giggle. Lipsmack. Smile. Turn. Smile. Her programming is flawless.
Rose 2 goes to … wait! LoBlo gives another treacle speech mid-way through the Rose Ceremony to make up for Chris not announcing the last rose! LoBlo wants to be absolutely certain everyone understands that this was his toughest decision ever Oh my god, please stop saying that before we are forced to make a drinking game out of it. We KNOW! And… he picks Agnese.
Well, there's a turn-up for the books. Both my picks, Jeannette and Desiree, are out! At first I'm surprised about Jeannette, but now I realize it must have been her wishy washy non-wish. And her rather plain face. She didn't start out all that pretty, but she grew worse-looking as time went on.
Girls hug. They've bonded, like, totally. Jeannette professes to be shocked because she put herself out there. When? This was the chick whom Lorenzoh called "hard to read" and she admitted to not wanting to vie for attention. She thought they connected because she's sincere and "payssionate." Goodbye, Loser. Now that I look at you, you're a buttterface.
Desiree laments her elimination. She seems a lot more broken up by this than Jeannette, anyway. She really deluded herself into thinking she'd be the one. She's mostly pissed that Lisa was kept, because Lisa is just some dumb girl who is playing the game and making "the right moves." Agnese is here for the curiosity. Desiree claims she is in shock. She's got no words for the fact that the two women chosen at the Rose Ceremony don't deserve Lorenzoh, other than those words she just used. She put her heart on the line and got whacked. Bam! (Woo for sound effects.) She feels bad for Lorenzoh because he let a fantastic woman go. Who? Oh, right, herself.
Next time, family visits. We see precrap of LoBlo being told about Lisa's timeline ("She has a timeline?") and being shown all her wedding preparation paraphernalia. She has magazines, a dress, and probably a hope chest full of baby garments.
Erica returns again. This time we visit bathtubside while she chats some more about who is right for LoBlo. How much do you suppose Erica's dad paid the producers of the show to feature his little peanut? She's already had more facetime than anyone else on the show, including Lorenzoh.
That's at least 10 sips! Way to go out on a high note.
After ads and while credits roll, we join the Group Date in the bus. The topic? The craziest place you've ever had sex. Desiree reveals that hers was in the girls' locker room. LoBlo wonders whether she was doing it with a guy or a girl. Desiree laughs and says with a guy, "of course." Hey, kid, there's no "of course" about it. Lisa jumps in and says hers was on a floatie in the middle of the lake. Someone nudges her to say, "Hi mom and dad." "Hi mom and dad." Did anyone else think of Sadie during this tidbit? Then the girls clamour at LoBlo to reveal his, because "we told, so you have to tell us, too." He says, "The girl's villa in Italy." Heh, heh. Let me see: he was here, filming for this show, right? Hahaha: won't that be a hoot when it finally leaks out whose villa it was?
Thanks for reading.
Previously, "so not fair" and "fairytale." This week, the only ones getting drunk were on the TV. I was hard-pressed to decide on a proper drinking game for the recap. Am I scraping the bottom of the romantic barrel, sipping for the precrap? Maybe, but otherwise the only thing remotely paralyzed would be Lorenzo's smile, frozen in place.
Precrap heralds the return of Erica, among other things. Four roses will determine whose parents need to clean up their homes and their acts. Let's call it four sips' worth of precrap. I'm serious. This episode is devoid of enough material for any other sipping game. This season is the dullest yet.
Chris' Fun in the Sun. Once again, Chris lays out the dating itinerary: two 1 on 1 dates and 1 group date. Do you know? I think we can call that a 3-sip. Chris' blather is basically precrap, isn't it? In order to determine who gets the 1 on 1s, the girls enter a private room to answer a couple of questions. (1) Who is least deserving to become a princess? (2) Who is the most insincere girl in the house?
What? No "who is most compatible" question? I feel slightly cheated and I shouldn't. But the bitchiness quotient is reduced when the votes are centred on one person. Oops, I just precrapped. One sip!
Chris continues, "The person who will judge you and make the choices is someone you know." (Yes, that's another sip! Oh my god, this new sipping game could be better than Amazing Bitchy Fairytale.) We watch Erica arrive wearing her tiara and a pale pink cape. Hopefully she'll make a half-decent decision. Yes, if you didn't watch the show: Erica gets to judge. (Sip!)
Lisa DR-complains that Erica hasn't been honest, and behind their backs she's a bitch. Haha, coming from the Stepford Bitch, that is rich.
The Big Erica Interrogation. Watched by Erica on closed-circuit TV, Lisa declares that Jennifer doesn't deserve to be a princess. Her reasons appear to be that Jenn isn't pretty without makeup and is insincere. Everyone not named Lisa fingers Lisa as the most insincere or the least deserving to be a princess or both. (That sounds rather rude, doesn't it? Sorry it's not worth a sip.) Desiree adds that Lisa backstabbed every woman and has no regrets. Keen as I am to throw rotten eggs at Lisa, I really don't know when it was that Lisa actually backstabbed anyone here. Did I miss something or is that a bit of precrap? Let's sip once to be on the safe side. Sadie cries because she doesn't like saying bad stuff about others. The tears even seem somewhat genuine. Ads and more precrap happened here, I think, so that's another 3 sips. Better make sure there's enough wine chilling or cocktail mixed and waiting in that pitcher, readers.
Chris returns to make a side salad of introducing the one "most qualified to judge the truthfulness of" the girls' answers. Erica swishes in, "Hey bitches!" She DRs they were all shocked to learn she was the one doing the judging. I'm sure the looks of horror will keep Cruella cackling for a long time. She subsists on the misery of others.
Erica's big moment is basically announcing that some of the girls' revelations "shocked" her while others were more honest. Erica says a princess should have a good heart, and be fun (and that explains why Erica is out of the running). Her big piece of bitchiness is saying, "Some of you deserve to be a princess and some do not." Man, this is scintillating. Thank god Erica returned to fill this 2 minute hole in the program. And yet her facetime is so relatively bland that this episode's bitchiness isn't enough for two sips, let alone a whole episode's drinking game's worth. And that's the real reason I had to hunt for another drinking game. I'm surprised it took me so many seasons to think of drinking for the precrap!
Sadie sighs. It's a major sigh. She must be worrying that a princess is maybe not supposed to be a virgin. She silently vows to be more fun on her next opportunity to spend time with LoBlo. That feels like precrap to me: one sip.
Erica DRs Lisa is not princess material. Hmmm, if anyone else said it, it would be just bitchy. If Erica weren't holding The Power, it would be just bitchy. But given the circumstances, it's precrap! Sip!
The First One-on-One Date goes to … drum roll… Sadie. She is surprised. The little note says, "Fly away with me for a day of pampering." Those little notes have always been sipping opportunities! Who knew?!? Sadie trills, "Thanks, Erica!" and heads off to begin preparing for her date. Jennifer runs to help her. The other girls are left sitting around the kitchen table, with long faces. No, they are not pleased the Virgin got the date box. If it's a virgin he wants, these hos are out of luck.
Agnese is jealous because Erica didn't like her. But Erica didn't like Agnese solely because she sensed competition on a level on which she could not compete: the exotic foreign-born girl level. Ads with four-sip precrap.
LoBlo says he's glad to see that Sadie was chosen for one of these dates, but he needs to know if he likes her enough to go meet her parents. OMG, another piece of precrap. Don't get too excited, it's just a sip. But isn't that always the first thought when you meet someone in a bar and share a few hundred drinks? Only on TV shows like this one.
It's a small prop plane. Sadie exudes enthusiasm. LoBlo guides the plane up and Sadie goes, "You really do know how to fly, don't you?" "Yes." I guess she had her doubts about him having any actual talents besides smiling. Actually he isn't smiling very much during this outing. He is, after all, on a Fact-Finding Mission. He's trying to work out whether he could stand her for more than six hours. She rubs his arm in congratulations. He doesn't brush her off. She tells us that she finds him hot, cute and smart. Now she wants to kiss him, and maybe even make out with him for a while. Oh mama, you go girl! Also, 2 sips!
I must say, Sadie is doing a terrific job of enjoying the plane ride. She's cooing and smiling with what looks like genuine enthusiasm. He even lets her take the -- what is it called, the wheel? The crank? (Mr. AMAI tells me later it's called the yoke or something.) LoBlo DRs that Sadie would make a great pilot because she likes to take risks. Is that what I think it is? Sip! But I would have thought that might be a mark against. Now Sadie is ready to get her pilot's license. Good on ya, Sadie! Sip. It was quite the bonding experience and of course, she is pleased as punch to have had him all to herself. He helps her down from the wing of the plane. She adds, in case we missed it, "He wowed me."
It's funny, though. The Prince sounded and looked kind of blah throughout this Sadie date. It's like he's not really thrilled to bits with her, but he's doing his best to pretend to reciprocate her enthusiasm. I couldn't put my finger on it while taking notes, but later I thought it might be that he wishes he could find a reason to dump her, because he's not really that keen to deflower a virgin. Unfortunately, she's showing the right amount of enthusiasm and so on. Ads. With precrap. Four sips? Yes.
When we return, much time has evidently passed, for a gorgeous sunset lights up our screen. What else does one do at sunset but disrobe down to swimming outfits? She's in a bikini, he's in swimming trunks. They hop into a thermal hot tub. LoBlo says, "I'll be honest." Surely I'm not the only one whose ears kind of perked up a little bit, breathless to hear his revelation. Can you imagine what images and thoughts raced through Sadie's mind? Surely she came up with something much more thrilling than, "You're a very good pilot." Yes, that is what he said. That was his "big revelation," the thing he needed to preface with the remark, "I'll be honest." Does that make him an idiot or cruel? He's surprised and impressed by her ability to fly for 3 minutes and she claims to see him in a whole new light. Sadie's enthusiasm is undimmed. "I've always thought pilots are hot," she coos, and her face exudes readiness to link her arm and future through his. Sip and a half!
Apparently LoBlo touched her a little bit more on this occasion than on any previous time, which Sadie figured meant he was angling for a kiss. Although she must have spent the entire time in the pool with her lips poised for that kiss, it never materialized. She DRs sadly to recap herself.
Bimbette Central. Another next date box arrives and it's for the group date of the episode. Everyone is excited and hoping not to hear her name. Jeanette, Agnese, Lisa and Desiree: none of you are getting the other individual one-on-one date. The note drivels, "Let the games begin." That's a pathetic note but at least it's good for a sip. But now we all know Jennifer was chosen for the other 1 on 1. Lisa DRs she didn't come here to make best friends. Don't the bitchiest ones always say that? Lisa could probably do with a couple of friends, too. I'm just saying.
Back in Rome, the flying nones are on a rooftop. A red rose lays expectantly on its cushion. Sip! Sadie raises the 'saving myself' topic in order to comment that LoBlo "didn't skip a beat" when she told him. He correctly figures that other guys have gotten huffy or upset, but LoBlo is not like other guys, hungry for a quickie. At least, not with a woman. I'm really beginning to have my doubts about him, but maybe that's because the show would be more entertaining if he turned around at the end and announced this experience has made him realize he's gay. For the moment, he soft-pedals, "I'm not judging you for waiting to be with the right person. You're passionate."
Sadie finds it sexy that his reaction is so good. She is getting on my nerves. There's something untoward about a virgin who won't stop talking about kissing and making out when you know she's always going to call a halt to the proceedings as soon as things begin to heat up. She's really starting to look and sound desperate to get married just so she can have some nooky. This saving oneself business is so much hokey b.s. in my view. Sorry, but there it is. I mean, I can see making that kind of vow when you're in your teens, so you don't end up a teenage mom. But at 23? It's pathetic. Her first marriage seems destined for divorce court.
As if to prove my point, Sadie has convinced herself LoBlo has wanted to kiss her all day.
"Is that what you think?" he asks coyly, and I would hope I'm not the only one who found that reply to be weird and not what I'd have wanted to hear under the circumstances. How about, "Yes! I have!! May I?" It seemed more like a scoff to me, like, "Oh, don't you think you're smart? Well, missy, as a matter of fact, I haven't been thinking about kissing you and would not have thought of it if you hadn't mentioned it." But to maintain the illusion that he's just so hot to trot with Sadie, he leans in, ferret-like, and strains to touch her lips with his.
Here's more evidence for my theory that he's not into her: he says, "You probably read me like a book." Excuse me, "probably?" See? He wasn't really that keen to kiss her. Sadie unfurls her gift for him, a "fun" shirt that says "Whatever It Takes." That is supposed to motivate him to choose her. He's says he's excited to give her the rose AND is looking forward to giving her the rose. Overkill? Or just a couple of sips? You be the judge.
They smooch for a while. She's happy. He seems happy. Ads. Precrap. 4 sips.
Group Toga Party. Our four girls are to be Roman princesses for the evening. One of these weeks we will have a sipping game for the words "prince" and "princess." I have a feeling that will form our Sipping Game of choice for the finale. For now, the girls wear little white dresses, and shoes featuring long ties that snake up their slim calves.
Lisa reminds anyone who will listen that she knows nothing about Roman history because she's been too busy filling her ROM with Bachelor history. The date group head to the Roman Aqueducts, where they will participate in Chariot races. I must have misheard the prize: I thought LoBlow said the winner gets a witch. Is Erica returning yet again? But that's another sip, even if I don't know to what he's alluding.
A complicated round-robin of racing ensues. The girls paired up. Jeannette and Agnese beat Lisa and Desiree in Heat 1. Then Jeaneette beat Agnese for the right to race against LoBlo. If she beats him, she'll get her witch. LoBlo DRs the story so far, trying to make Jeanette's record of 2-0 sound imposing. Did she really do well, or was the attendant who accompanied each chariot given instructions to allow the last girl to win? Anyway, Jeannette wins and LoBlo says he learned Jeannette is fearless and a winner. Can't get anything past him. She DRs she wants LoBlo to meet her family. Sip! But she doesn't know what she wants for her wish. Oh, it's a wish! Not a witch. Phew on the non-return of Erica.
One would naturally think that her wish would be to receive a rose at the next ceremony so she can introduce Princey to the parents. We won't know for a while yet.
Meanwhile, Sadie and Jennifer are hanging out on the balcony when the final date box arrives. Although they already know which of them the date is for, they have no idea what the date will entail. The note says, "In Rome wishes really can come true." Oh, ah haha. Jeannette was too slow to make her wish, so it goes to Jennifer instead. Two sips, people! Perhaps I'm old, but even without the visual clues of a black lace purse filled with coin-like objects, I still knew they were going to that special Fountain. Jennifer is a poorly educated idiot and admits she has NO idea of what they're going to do. Jealous Sadie DRs she's "not the best sharer when it comes to guys."
Back to the Toga Party, where LoBlo informs the girls this is a roseless date. "Relax and just have fun." The girls sigh to prove they are "relaxing." Desiree blurts, "I forgot how much I missed tequila." She is just standing there when LoBlo runs up and pushes her into the water, earning his new nic. He does jump in after her, nearly crushing her. Everyone jumps in. The relaxation feels very forced.
Despite the "relax dammit" attitude of this date, each girl still receives one-on-one time. Agnese admits to being sad for herself when Sadie received the date box. LoBlo wonders if it would be weird to meet her parents because of the dun-dun-dunnnnh language barrier. Yay, another sip for precrap! Except he spells it out more awkwardly, all, "I no speaka de Italian, they no speaka de English." She bobbles her head in various directions, now having difficulty communicating in body language, what with the nearness of LoBlo and all.
LoBlo then says the most curious thing. He DR-declares, "Agnese is not in it for herself." Say what? What the hell does that mean, in this context? Is she representing her sister? Some girl who lives down the street? Of all the situations, this is one in which the girl most decidedly should be in it for herself. How can you be doing this for your family? If someone understands what LoBlo is talking about here, please do fill me in.
Meanwhile Lisa is yakking at the other girls, "He's got a big decision." She talks to Jeannette, who DRs she can't figure him out. Jeannette would have a hard time figuring out a paper bag. Lisa tells everyone who will listen that she has the hometown date all planned. First, they'll take the dog for a walk, then they'll go to her parents' house, where her brother will play waiter, then they'll go out for gelato. It does sound a little over-planned, doesn't it? But dammit if that's not four sips' worth of precrap.
Jeannette DRs Lisa is maybe playing a game. Maybe she is, and maybe Jeannette doesn't have anything more interesting to say than that. Why is Jeannette's facetime mostly about Lisa? Because in the great scheme of things, Lisa is more important to LoBlo, that's why.
LoBlo wants to know if Jeannette has thought about her wish. She hasn't, not really, so she says her wish is for him to enjoy this moment and have a good time. What an insipid girl. That's not even good enough for a precrap sip. LoBlo DRs he thought it was a cop-out, but then he cops-out from being so judgmental and claims he was somehow nevertheless "intrigued" by her doing that.
Lorenzo looks at all the girls, with their hopeful faces smiling and wistful. He hopes he doesn't send home his future wife. Sip! Ads. I'm beginning to hope he's already sent her home. And where are the girls running around ditching their bikinis, which footage we were promised last week? But ad break means precrap: I'm taking 3 sips.
Evening. Jennifer's One-on-One Date. She is excited and nervous. Of course she is. She's had to pack her bags in case she gets ditched mid-date. Woo! Sip! It doesn't matter whether she is eliminated or not, the bag-placement scene precraps the possibility. We watch her place them in the hallway so the footman can find them later.
Lisa and Desiree watch Jennifer and LoBlo head out. Then the two on the date knock back some drink or other during the limo ride to the Roman aqueduct. Once there, they transfer to a horse-drawn carriage, each bringing a bottle of beer with them. It's soooo classy. The constant boozing on the show makes my head spin. They're going to the Spanish Steps, he says. Jennifer DRs she forgot he was a prince "cuz he was so amazing." Eye.Roll.
They haven't just gone into Rome, but also out for dinner. Wow. Oooh. Oh Ah. The restaurant overlooks Vatican City and Jen oozes gratitude like she's been given a $32,000 necklace. As she leans in for a kiss, the camera pans to show us the rose waiting on its black cushion. Dun dun sip!
During dinner they actually talk about themselves and their lives. That's a nice variation on conversation topics. Jennifer says she's going for a Master's in counseling because she loves listening to people's problems and trying to solve them.
LoBlo: "Why can't I have more of these nights?"
Jennifer: "You're going out with the wrong people maybe."
LoBlo: "So I should keep going out with you?"
Jennifer: "Yes."
WOW. Problem solved! Give that girl her Master's degree and a T-shirt that says "I went to dinner with Lorenzo Borghese and all I got was a crappy view of Vatican City."
At Bimbette Central, the girls are drinking and ready for a little fun & games. Lisa interviews that most men couldn't pull off a white blazer. It sounds lewd but I think we all know what she means. She and Desiree drink and drink some more, then they run around the yard pulling off their bikinis. Literally. Little Blurry Circles leap to the rescue, lest the tender eyes of the viewing public be scorched with the sight of fresh young bits. Jeannette sits open-mouthed poolside, resembling a just-caught fish. She's never seen a young woman completely naked. She probably can't even look in the mirror at herself. Are we sure she's not secretly a virgin? Jeannette gapes some more, DR-ing she can't believe they are streaking. Desiree DRs it felt so good to go streaking. "Tequilya really worked," she adds, in case anyone wondered what made her behave so lasciviously.
Back to the Jennifer Date. LoBlo is asking her about her parents. "My parents are fabulous, and I'm really close with them. They met at a grocery store. My dad bagged my mom's groceries." Wow. Sounds like an interesting story. How old were they? 16? Oh, no time for confirmation on these details. I wonder if LoBlo even inquired. Sometimes the editing on the show makes him seem more disinterested than he probably is.
Instead, we dive straight into his story of how his parents met: in Madrid at a good friend's wedding. She was living in Spain & the US and he was living in Italy. This took place 40 years ago. So, both families are still together, with strong marriages, or so they would have us believe. LoBlo thinks there is one person for each person and it's a matter of just finding that one right person. :rolleyes. I've given it some thought and I do not buy that there is only one right person for each of us. If we're lucky we find a good person, but it doesn't mean there aren't others.
Time for the rose. He offers it, she accepts. He will meet the parents in Miami. Sip.
LoBlo has another tiresome surprise: they're at that fountain. The Trevi Fountain. You know, the one they made the movie about, Three Coins in the Fountain. We don't see him ask her whether she remembered to bring the special wish-making coins with her, but they seem to have objects to toss into the fountain, so presumably she did remember. A small meal is made of this. Beautiful blah blah make a wish blah blah most romantic moment of her life yada yada. She feels her wish is going to come true. "My perfect fairytale!" she says and everyone who was hoping to hear last week's magic word finally takes a good long swig on their drinks. Ads, with a dollop of precrap. 2 sips maximum.
Rose Ceremony. With only two roses to hand out and 4 women standing woodenly around, it's not much of a ceremony. Lisa, Jeannette, Desiree and Agnese vie for one of the two roses. I think he'll pick Jeannette because I'm easily fooled by declarations of interest. Of the other 3? Probably going to be Lisa, but I'm tired of how perky she is. I wish he'd pick Desiree because she seems more fun. Agnese turns me off and I'm tired of the way she speaks English. Let's see if I'm right.
LoBlo mutters something about roses, tonight being important and being true to your heart. We have to suffer through informal Last Chance Chat Ups.
Lisa wears the diamond earrings she received along with the first impression rose. She tells LoBlo she's nervous. "I know we had a great date but it was forever ago." He wants to know how she feels about seeing him take other girls aside and knowing he's on dates with other girls. Lisa pastes the fakest smile on her mug and nods her head, totally the Understanding Woman who knows it's all "part of the process." She is "totally okay" with all that's going on. Smile. Nod. Head turn. Earring shake. She is the complete Stepford Wife.
Desiree moans about Lisa to her chosen confidantes Jeannette and Agnese: one is an airhead and the other one struggles to comprehend every fifth word. Frankly, those descriptions might apply equally to either or both of them. They all seem to agree that Lisa having knowledge of what to say and when to say it gives her an advantage that makes her look to him like she's in love, but which they interpret as "being here for the wrong reasons." Jeannette tries to sound incisive, "If she doesn't have the right intent…" she begins, then loses her train of thought. Her fingers look wonky too. It's like she can't talk with her mouth or her hands. Desiree thinks Lisa thinks it is a game and that her heart isn't in it. I disagree. Lisa's heart is probably more in it BECAUSE she thinks it's a game. It's much easier to focus on "winning" than on the reality of "the prize."
Desiree intends to tell LoBlo she's here to fall in love. Sip! Only she doesn't. Instead, she blathers, "I feel something for you. I feel chemistry and connection. I would feel overwhelmed with proudness to introduce you to my family. I totally want to fall in love with a guy like you." A guy "like you." Yep, that's what she said. Is it any wonder he didn't pick her? Oops. I'm precrapping now. 1 sip! She wants someone like him, but not him. He replies, "I should be selling myself to you."
Jeannette's turn to blather: "Remember that wish you gave me? Well, I realize I wished for the lamest thing. (Uh oh. She wished for his happiness, or something. Her taking back of the wish is probably worse than bestowing it in the first place.) I am taking this seriously and to heart." These girls don't know how to express themselves at all. It's so pathetic. He tells her she's attractive and reminds her that she's still here. I feel like sipping. "Something about you I like." He can't think what that is, but then remembers that he basically kept her because he thought there might be more to her. Turns out, there isn't. Their faces kind of meet up in mid-air. He plants a kiss somewhere in the vicinity of her mouth.
Agnese is a bundle of nerves. More halting speech from her. "Tonight is intense. We all feel something for you?" It doesn't look as bad written down as it sounded coming out of her sip-hole.
Lisa comments to Jennifer that "they" can't communicate. She must mean Agnese and LoBlo, else why would the tidbit be inserted here?
LoBlo pre-excuses himself by telling Agnese that no matter what, he's enjoyed this time with her. He won't need the excuse in her case (sip), but I wonder if he said the same thing to all four of the women who would be attending the Rose Ceremony in hopes of being chosen for the next round. Agnese diaries, "I think he likes me but I don't know if there are other girls he likes much more." She's actually quite a sensible girl; it's just the language barrier that makes her seem an airhead.
Chris arrives and takes LoBlo away, presumably to moon over the pictures and try to keep his mind on the job at hand. He DRs that two are leaving. "I probably won't ever see them again." Sip! But did no-one tell him about "The Women Tell All" episode? Usually the bachelor/ette returns to face the incisive questioning by the rejects. Ads. Precrap. 1 sip. What's left to precrap at this point?
We return for the disbursement of the two roses. Everything is serious, with serious implications. Jennifer and Sadie have their roses and sit together smugly. Chris utters his measly couple of lines, "Only 2 roses left. Two are going home." Each season his facetime is reduced. I do think this is the least amount of time he's ever had. No doubt his salary increases.
LoBlo delivers another treacle speech: "Tonight I asked you to be yourself and open up to me and tell me who you are. The more you talked, the more I couldn't find any reasons to say goodbye. Thank you." Wow, does he mean that 'thank you?' The little bitches made it harder for him! I wonder what criteria he did use if he couldn't use what they said during their Last Chance Chat Ups.
Rose 1 goes to… Lisa. Yes she will accept. Smile. Turn. Grin. Turn. Giggle. Lipsmack. Smile. Turn. Smile. Her programming is flawless.
Rose 2 goes to … wait! LoBlo gives another treacle speech mid-way through the Rose Ceremony to make up for Chris not announcing the last rose! LoBlo wants to be absolutely certain everyone understands that this was his toughest decision ever Oh my god, please stop saying that before we are forced to make a drinking game out of it. We KNOW! And… he picks Agnese.
Well, there's a turn-up for the books. Both my picks, Jeannette and Desiree, are out! At first I'm surprised about Jeannette, but now I realize it must have been her wishy washy non-wish. And her rather plain face. She didn't start out all that pretty, but she grew worse-looking as time went on.
Girls hug. They've bonded, like, totally. Jeannette professes to be shocked because she put herself out there. When? This was the chick whom Lorenzoh called "hard to read" and she admitted to not wanting to vie for attention. She thought they connected because she's sincere and "payssionate." Goodbye, Loser. Now that I look at you, you're a buttterface.
Desiree laments her elimination. She seems a lot more broken up by this than Jeannette, anyway. She really deluded herself into thinking she'd be the one. She's mostly pissed that Lisa was kept, because Lisa is just some dumb girl who is playing the game and making "the right moves." Agnese is here for the curiosity. Desiree claims she is in shock. She's got no words for the fact that the two women chosen at the Rose Ceremony don't deserve Lorenzoh, other than those words she just used. She put her heart on the line and got whacked. Bam! (Woo for sound effects.) She feels bad for Lorenzoh because he let a fantastic woman go. Who? Oh, right, herself.
Next time, family visits. We see precrap of LoBlo being told about Lisa's timeline ("She has a timeline?") and being shown all her wedding preparation paraphernalia. She has magazines, a dress, and probably a hope chest full of baby garments.
Erica returns again. This time we visit bathtubside while she chats some more about who is right for LoBlo. How much do you suppose Erica's dad paid the producers of the show to feature his little peanut? She's already had more facetime than anyone else on the show, including Lorenzoh.
That's at least 10 sips! Way to go out on a high note.
After ads and while credits roll, we join the Group Date in the bus. The topic? The craziest place you've ever had sex. Desiree reveals that hers was in the girls' locker room. LoBlo wonders whether she was doing it with a guy or a girl. Desiree laughs and says with a guy, "of course." Hey, kid, there's no "of course" about it. Lisa jumps in and says hers was on a floatie in the middle of the lake. Someone nudges her to say, "Hi mom and dad." "Hi mom and dad." Did anyone else think of Sadie during this tidbit? Then the girls clamour at LoBlo to reveal his, because "we told, so you have to tell us, too." He says, "The girl's villa in Italy." Heh, heh. Let me see: he was here, filming for this show, right? Hahaha: won't that be a hoot when it finally leaks out whose villa it was?
Thanks for reading.
