ASS ep 6 Hawk Hatches A Howler
We begin again with the PDA. You know, I watched the Early Show on the Friday morning following this episode and the same footage was re-shown without the protective layer of verbiage! *Gasp* At 8 oclock in the morning too! Can you imagine how distraught I was?!? All I can say is we better get one next week because where the hell is our RawbnAmbah Get It Awn footage?
Previously on Big Knobs & Broomsticks, Dicque got naked and swabbed Sues deck. Hilarity did not ensue. In the end there wasnt a blurry circle big enough for Dicque to hide behind and out he went, laughing to cover his pain, thumping Colbys back into next Tuesday to bequeath his arrogance. Other stuff happened but its been washed out to sea on a tidal wave of emotion.
Oh wait, here it comes flooding back. Damn. I was hoping to claim permanent amnesia. The first twist of the game (note emphasis on first) was the dissolution of the third place tribe. Many posters were hoping for dissolution in a vat of acid; stupidity is simply a slower-acting corrosive agent but nothing would have been fast enough to save us from this weeks hearty helping of hogwash.
The already wet SoBoggy were gleefully dismantled following a dismal showing at the RC (and when dont SoBoggy have a dismal showing?) Winners Moo Goo took Ethan & Jerri, while losers Chaps R Us chose Rupert & got saddled with JennaL.
Thanks to Mr. Amai for the new tribe names. Moo Goo Guy Pan is tastier than they deserve but god knows something has to be delicious about this trainwreck in progress season. Chaps R Us is homage to the non-schleppiness of this tribe generally.
Day 16 on All Stupid Survivor . Our long days journey into insanity begins at Moo Goo Guy Pan, where Jerri is having a quiet mornings DR marveling over the last-minute scramble of Hatch scurrying to save his own butt.
Is Jerri really coattail riding, or merely trying to have her tribe (and us) believe she is coat-tail riding? She tells us she checked with Kathy on the target, and Kathy said Hatch.
All for naught, then, that Jerri spilled the beans to His Hatchness that he was a target, which got him voting for Colby instead of the pre-approved target of Ethan. Id actually prefer to see Kathy end up paying for that mistake.
Kathy puffs up like a pouter pigeon over her self-important power-wielding role. You can see the gears in her mind turning, imagining headlines declaring her the player who single-handedly outwitted the great Hatch. What is hilarious is her telling Shii & Jerri how offended she was that Colby sent Lex as his messenger. Haha. She tells us she considered how big a schism would have been between her & Lex if shed told Shii & Jerri to boot Colby instead of Hatch, and thats what got her deciding to go with Hatch.
ShiiAnn DRs about Kathys power and having all of us wrapped around her finger. If nobodys noticing that, then she is one darn good player. But youre noticing it ShiiAnn. I doubt youll let that slip by. Of course all of this has nothing to do with tonights episode, so its purpose must be to lay foundation for Kathys upcoming downfall. MB wouldnt trust us to remember this stuff six weeks from now, so I foresee Kathy getting the boot within the next three weeks.
At Chaps R Us, tree sloths precede footage of Amber sleeping. What, cant the poor girl nap? Shes been talking sense into people for 16 days straight. Give her a break.
Rupert fashions a spear while Tom looks on. Unfortunately for us, the effects of the last Hit Em Upside The Head Challenge have worn off, and Tom is back to mumbling incoherently. Or maybe hes out of booze. All Im able to ascertain is that Tom sees Rupert as easy going, which in and of itself must be taken as further proof that Tom is completely off his rocker.
But how is Rupert managing to repress his natural instinct to lay down rules and regulations governing his adventure? Not very well, since his natural smugness is creeping back bit by bit. He tells us about his new niche as Provider. The down side is that with no-one else interested in fishing, no one will give a rats ass about using his new spear, thereby giving him no outlet for said natural instinct. He grudgingly admits that Sue has been getting snails off the rocks, and we get footage to illustrate.
Sue looks happy, working away collecting her snails. But she is not happy. She is pissed off. She began snail collecting precisely because no one else wanted to eat them. Then the nasty ingrates started eating them. Rupert says Sue is playing her own game. And shes losing. She isnt eating rice and now everyone wants to have some snails. So why doesnt she have some rice? It seems to me a simple solution. On the positive side this snail issue does give her something to whine about. Sue is like the Jewish mother who buys her son two ties, a green one and a blue one. When he wears the blue one, she says, Whatssamatter, you dont like the green one?
As a perfect end to this Sue segment of whinin bout dinin, she drops her pail of snails. Karma has upgraded to high-speed access for this 2nd season in Panama.
This footage must have been taken from a different point in the game. It doesnt fit with the rest of Sues behaviour this episode.
We got some pretty footage of Rupert fishing and voice-over/DR from Robfaddah. Id say he looks hungover except Im pretty sure there is no whisky left. Tom probably had to have emergency surgery to remove his paw from the bottle. I need Rupert to keep bringing me fish and keep my belly full until its his time to go. And that time will be determined by me. He really believes hes running this tribe and the only shock to me will be if he actually makes it to the final four.
Meanwhile in the Moo Goo Guy Pan shelter, Shii and Colby are having a moment. I think Shii wanted to like Colby; she hadnt had any really negative confessionals about him before now. But after Colbys Tribal Council comments, the love affair is stillborn. ShiiAnn saw his remark about under the radar, coattail riders as relating to her. And the camera even panned to ShiiAnn, in case we missed the significance. So she asks him if she is, like, who he meant.
Colby puts on his best voice of disgust to inform her in fact he does not respect her kind of gameplay, brilliant tho it may be. He had a lot of lying to do, and hes proud of it. (What? He told one person Hatch - some cock&bull story. This tribe has been to TC once. What lot of lying has he had to do?)
Colby continues, People like you get to coast because you dont lie because you dont make decisions like I do. Colby thinks he is da man cuz he tole one lie. God, what an ass.
Shiis eyes widen. She DRs that Colby put her to sleep with his droning on & on. She says, Zzzz oh Im sorry youre done? Heh.
Ive gone off Texans after The Bachelorette. Colbys game plan here is stupid. People already know he can win individual challenges, so why add another reason to ditch him sooner rather than later? The eye candy factor isnt working for me this time around, mostly because I like Shii Ann and she is in fact playing very intelligently. Just because shes going with Kathy to boot Hatch doesnt mean shes following blindly. Playing ShiiAnns game is not easy when it entails listening to Colbys codswallop and keeping the ShiiDevil tongue in her head.
Now heres our Shii preview tidbit: Captain America, good teeth, good looking guy, blah blah. Shii is not dumb enough to tell him she doesnt respect his game. And thats one of the smartest things anyone has said all season.
At Chaps R Us Sue picks a lucky coconut. Rupert oohs and ahs over going into the merge 7-5.
Alicia DRs about not really knowing Rupe & Jenna but still. Then she wonders who got voted out. Then the group is sitting around, enjoying their banquet and discussing whom Moo Goo booted. Sue hopes Richard got voted off. She DRs about what Dicque did. She tells her tribe what Dicque did. The tidbit doesnt play again, but it should have. He rubbed himself on her. At this point, I dont see that Sue is in serious difficulty.
Moon, Day 17. Human Voices, in Pain. Another night and day and still no Rawb n Ambah action. Why were we given that warning, again?
Rob plays with his foot. Sue gazes into the campfire. What is this? What kind of a crap episode is this? Some of us wondered what tribe life is like; now were really sorry we asked. It is so boring.
Sue tells us the nights are long in Panama. They last from sundown to sunup. But I guess time would feel longer without TV, books, radio, internet. I have a hard time being on the streetcar for 20 minutes if I dont have my laptop so I can work on a recap. I can understand what shes talking about.
Now you need to put on your deep sea diving gear. We are going deep into the psyche of Sue. She is not doing well. She cant get the sensation of naked Dicque off her mind. She woke up numerous times during the night, and each time, she could re-feel Richard naked, and started feeling really bad.
Why did he have to touch me, and didnt touch nobody else? Sue sounds sincerely traumatized. The first time I heard it, it sounded silly, but maybe she really has had prior traumatic events and this incident brought it all back. She sounds like shes slipping deep into depression.
The thought did occur to me that Sue decided she isnt fitting in with her tribe, and doesnt have a solid group of four with whom she feels safe to get to the end. She could be looking to use what happened to not only quit the game, but quit in such a way that would give her some leverage for an out-of-court settlement. Maybe she wouldnt get a million bucks, but she might do better than if she just took her lumps, same as the next chump.
So anyway, Amber and Alicia agree theyve noticed Sues tears. Alicia DRs that she didnt realize how affected Sue was until she started to cry. Sue lays on the sand and cries to illustrate.
Alicia takes time to sit with Sue and tell her that theyre more worried about her than anything.
Sue is mid-moan, Its so gross, and Ive been with my partner 20 years and never thought about kissing someone else. I wonder if shes worried about having contracted something from Rich. There is a lot of misinformation concerning how various STDs are actually STed.
Rawb wonders aloud to the other women if Sue is doing this because shes really affected, or to set up a big payday, or to somehow improve her position within the tribe. But with a situation this serious, he says, You gotta give her the benefit of the doubt.
More of Alicia, Rob and Amber agreeing its serious. Rupert, cooking, asks Sue if she would like some food and she declines. Oh man, how much more serious can it get? Ruperts view, imparted via DR, is she could have handled it differently. I dont know how. Its not in Sues nature to back down. And she obviously didnt expect Rich to actually jiggle himself in such a way so as to come into contact with her.
Alicia and Tom discuss the situation. Alicia doesnt understand why Sue is so humiliated, but it didnt happen to her. Toms speech needs to be put through a special translation program to be comprehensible. But this much is clear: Tom slurs, Stick a fork in her, shes done.
Moo Goo Guy Pan. Jerri is talking about food and making a list. She DRs that on Saboga they had plaintains & coconuts. The group rolls their eyes while Jerri lists all the stuff she misses: honey roasted extra crunchy peanut butter, bananas apples, milk chocolate chip, peanut butter chocolate chips, and more chocolate. Stupid move, unless her goal is to alienate everyone. Theyve got to be wondering why they didnt pick JennaL when they had the chance.
Kathy DRs she hates talking about food this early, cuz she starts thinking about ice cream sundaes. Shii is concerned as well and doesnt like the fact that their main food provider got voted out and wails, Oh Richard I miss you already. Where is the fish?
Lex wanted to wait until Rich was out of the picture before he picked up the spear. How does Lex manage to make so many of his pronouncements sound like death threats? Off goes Lex to fish. Ethan forlornly throws in his miserable two cents that once again he sat back to let Lex do the fishing. And Lex catches fish after fish. Lex DRs he didnt think it was necessary to let everyone know hes an accomplished fisherman. By everyone he obviously means Hatch.
Colby says Wow and DRs he is checking it in the back of his mind. Lex catches fish. Is Colby really this stupid? He knows hes competing against Lex.
For his part, Lex feels he has the favor of the girls right now. If he can show them he can provide them with food, they will feel no compulsion to keep the other two guys around. Is this episode really so dull? Why are we watching this tripe?
At Chaps R Us, Sue wanders alone on the beach. Alicia cleans coconuts. Yawwwn.
Now its Jenna, Rupert, and Ambers turn to go off for an alliance talk, Amber telling them she & Rawb feel theyre on the outs from Tom, Alicia and Sue. Rawb DRs that because he doesnt trust Rupert, he formed an alliance with him.
Rupert DRs about the trust issue. He does trust Jenna, and hopes he can trust the other two. Rawb tells them, I f you honestly honor your alliance, you go to the end, which doesnt really reflect his own experience but whatever. Then he DRs that he has an alliance now with everyone except Sue and Alicia.
:warning
We begin again with the PDA. You know, I watched the Early Show on the Friday morning following this episode and the same footage was re-shown without the protective layer of verbiage! *Gasp* At 8 oclock in the morning too! Can you imagine how distraught I was?!? All I can say is we better get one next week because where the hell is our RawbnAmbah Get It Awn footage?
Previously on Big Knobs & Broomsticks, Dicque got naked and swabbed Sues deck. Hilarity did not ensue. In the end there wasnt a blurry circle big enough for Dicque to hide behind and out he went, laughing to cover his pain, thumping Colbys back into next Tuesday to bequeath his arrogance. Other stuff happened but its been washed out to sea on a tidal wave of emotion.
Oh wait, here it comes flooding back. Damn. I was hoping to claim permanent amnesia. The first twist of the game (note emphasis on first) was the dissolution of the third place tribe. Many posters were hoping for dissolution in a vat of acid; stupidity is simply a slower-acting corrosive agent but nothing would have been fast enough to save us from this weeks hearty helping of hogwash.
The already wet SoBoggy were gleefully dismantled following a dismal showing at the RC (and when dont SoBoggy have a dismal showing?) Winners Moo Goo took Ethan & Jerri, while losers Chaps R Us chose Rupert & got saddled with JennaL.
Thanks to Mr. Amai for the new tribe names. Moo Goo Guy Pan is tastier than they deserve but god knows something has to be delicious about this trainwreck in progress season. Chaps R Us is homage to the non-schleppiness of this tribe generally.
Day 16 on All Stupid Survivor . Our long days journey into insanity begins at Moo Goo Guy Pan, where Jerri is having a quiet mornings DR marveling over the last-minute scramble of Hatch scurrying to save his own butt.
Is Jerri really coattail riding, or merely trying to have her tribe (and us) believe she is coat-tail riding? She tells us she checked with Kathy on the target, and Kathy said Hatch.
All for naught, then, that Jerri spilled the beans to His Hatchness that he was a target, which got him voting for Colby instead of the pre-approved target of Ethan. Id actually prefer to see Kathy end up paying for that mistake.
Kathy puffs up like a pouter pigeon over her self-important power-wielding role. You can see the gears in her mind turning, imagining headlines declaring her the player who single-handedly outwitted the great Hatch. What is hilarious is her telling Shii & Jerri how offended she was that Colby sent Lex as his messenger. Haha. She tells us she considered how big a schism would have been between her & Lex if shed told Shii & Jerri to boot Colby instead of Hatch, and thats what got her deciding to go with Hatch.
ShiiAnn DRs about Kathys power and having all of us wrapped around her finger. If nobodys noticing that, then she is one darn good player. But youre noticing it ShiiAnn. I doubt youll let that slip by. Of course all of this has nothing to do with tonights episode, so its purpose must be to lay foundation for Kathys upcoming downfall. MB wouldnt trust us to remember this stuff six weeks from now, so I foresee Kathy getting the boot within the next three weeks.
At Chaps R Us, tree sloths precede footage of Amber sleeping. What, cant the poor girl nap? Shes been talking sense into people for 16 days straight. Give her a break.
Rupert fashions a spear while Tom looks on. Unfortunately for us, the effects of the last Hit Em Upside The Head Challenge have worn off, and Tom is back to mumbling incoherently. Or maybe hes out of booze. All Im able to ascertain is that Tom sees Rupert as easy going, which in and of itself must be taken as further proof that Tom is completely off his rocker.
But how is Rupert managing to repress his natural instinct to lay down rules and regulations governing his adventure? Not very well, since his natural smugness is creeping back bit by bit. He tells us about his new niche as Provider. The down side is that with no-one else interested in fishing, no one will give a rats ass about using his new spear, thereby giving him no outlet for said natural instinct. He grudgingly admits that Sue has been getting snails off the rocks, and we get footage to illustrate.
Sue looks happy, working away collecting her snails. But she is not happy. She is pissed off. She began snail collecting precisely because no one else wanted to eat them. Then the nasty ingrates started eating them. Rupert says Sue is playing her own game. And shes losing. She isnt eating rice and now everyone wants to have some snails. So why doesnt she have some rice? It seems to me a simple solution. On the positive side this snail issue does give her something to whine about. Sue is like the Jewish mother who buys her son two ties, a green one and a blue one. When he wears the blue one, she says, Whatssamatter, you dont like the green one?
As a perfect end to this Sue segment of whinin bout dinin, she drops her pail of snails. Karma has upgraded to high-speed access for this 2nd season in Panama.
This footage must have been taken from a different point in the game. It doesnt fit with the rest of Sues behaviour this episode.
We got some pretty footage of Rupert fishing and voice-over/DR from Robfaddah. Id say he looks hungover except Im pretty sure there is no whisky left. Tom probably had to have emergency surgery to remove his paw from the bottle. I need Rupert to keep bringing me fish and keep my belly full until its his time to go. And that time will be determined by me. He really believes hes running this tribe and the only shock to me will be if he actually makes it to the final four.
Meanwhile in the Moo Goo Guy Pan shelter, Shii and Colby are having a moment. I think Shii wanted to like Colby; she hadnt had any really negative confessionals about him before now. But after Colbys Tribal Council comments, the love affair is stillborn. ShiiAnn saw his remark about under the radar, coattail riders as relating to her. And the camera even panned to ShiiAnn, in case we missed the significance. So she asks him if she is, like, who he meant.
Colby puts on his best voice of disgust to inform her in fact he does not respect her kind of gameplay, brilliant tho it may be. He had a lot of lying to do, and hes proud of it. (What? He told one person Hatch - some cock&bull story. This tribe has been to TC once. What lot of lying has he had to do?)
Colby continues, People like you get to coast because you dont lie because you dont make decisions like I do. Colby thinks he is da man cuz he tole one lie. God, what an ass.
Shiis eyes widen. She DRs that Colby put her to sleep with his droning on & on. She says, Zzzz oh Im sorry youre done? Heh.
Ive gone off Texans after The Bachelorette. Colbys game plan here is stupid. People already know he can win individual challenges, so why add another reason to ditch him sooner rather than later? The eye candy factor isnt working for me this time around, mostly because I like Shii Ann and she is in fact playing very intelligently. Just because shes going with Kathy to boot Hatch doesnt mean shes following blindly. Playing ShiiAnns game is not easy when it entails listening to Colbys codswallop and keeping the ShiiDevil tongue in her head.
Now heres our Shii preview tidbit: Captain America, good teeth, good looking guy, blah blah. Shii is not dumb enough to tell him she doesnt respect his game. And thats one of the smartest things anyone has said all season.
At Chaps R Us Sue picks a lucky coconut. Rupert oohs and ahs over going into the merge 7-5.
Alicia DRs about not really knowing Rupe & Jenna but still. Then she wonders who got voted out. Then the group is sitting around, enjoying their banquet and discussing whom Moo Goo booted. Sue hopes Richard got voted off. She DRs about what Dicque did. She tells her tribe what Dicque did. The tidbit doesnt play again, but it should have. He rubbed himself on her. At this point, I dont see that Sue is in serious difficulty.
Moon, Day 17. Human Voices, in Pain. Another night and day and still no Rawb n Ambah action. Why were we given that warning, again?
Rob plays with his foot. Sue gazes into the campfire. What is this? What kind of a crap episode is this? Some of us wondered what tribe life is like; now were really sorry we asked. It is so boring.
Sue tells us the nights are long in Panama. They last from sundown to sunup. But I guess time would feel longer without TV, books, radio, internet. I have a hard time being on the streetcar for 20 minutes if I dont have my laptop so I can work on a recap. I can understand what shes talking about.
Now you need to put on your deep sea diving gear. We are going deep into the psyche of Sue. She is not doing well. She cant get the sensation of naked Dicque off her mind. She woke up numerous times during the night, and each time, she could re-feel Richard naked, and started feeling really bad.
Why did he have to touch me, and didnt touch nobody else? Sue sounds sincerely traumatized. The first time I heard it, it sounded silly, but maybe she really has had prior traumatic events and this incident brought it all back. She sounds like shes slipping deep into depression.
The thought did occur to me that Sue decided she isnt fitting in with her tribe, and doesnt have a solid group of four with whom she feels safe to get to the end. She could be looking to use what happened to not only quit the game, but quit in such a way that would give her some leverage for an out-of-court settlement. Maybe she wouldnt get a million bucks, but she might do better than if she just took her lumps, same as the next chump.
So anyway, Amber and Alicia agree theyve noticed Sues tears. Alicia DRs that she didnt realize how affected Sue was until she started to cry. Sue lays on the sand and cries to illustrate.
Alicia takes time to sit with Sue and tell her that theyre more worried about her than anything.
Sue is mid-moan, Its so gross, and Ive been with my partner 20 years and never thought about kissing someone else. I wonder if shes worried about having contracted something from Rich. There is a lot of misinformation concerning how various STDs are actually STed.
Rawb wonders aloud to the other women if Sue is doing this because shes really affected, or to set up a big payday, or to somehow improve her position within the tribe. But with a situation this serious, he says, You gotta give her the benefit of the doubt.
More of Alicia, Rob and Amber agreeing its serious. Rupert, cooking, asks Sue if she would like some food and she declines. Oh man, how much more serious can it get? Ruperts view, imparted via DR, is she could have handled it differently. I dont know how. Its not in Sues nature to back down. And she obviously didnt expect Rich to actually jiggle himself in such a way so as to come into contact with her.
Alicia and Tom discuss the situation. Alicia doesnt understand why Sue is so humiliated, but it didnt happen to her. Toms speech needs to be put through a special translation program to be comprehensible. But this much is clear: Tom slurs, Stick a fork in her, shes done.
Moo Goo Guy Pan. Jerri is talking about food and making a list. She DRs that on Saboga they had plaintains & coconuts. The group rolls their eyes while Jerri lists all the stuff she misses: honey roasted extra crunchy peanut butter, bananas apples, milk chocolate chip, peanut butter chocolate chips, and more chocolate. Stupid move, unless her goal is to alienate everyone. Theyve got to be wondering why they didnt pick JennaL when they had the chance.
Kathy DRs she hates talking about food this early, cuz she starts thinking about ice cream sundaes. Shii is concerned as well and doesnt like the fact that their main food provider got voted out and wails, Oh Richard I miss you already. Where is the fish?
Lex wanted to wait until Rich was out of the picture before he picked up the spear. How does Lex manage to make so many of his pronouncements sound like death threats? Off goes Lex to fish. Ethan forlornly throws in his miserable two cents that once again he sat back to let Lex do the fishing. And Lex catches fish after fish. Lex DRs he didnt think it was necessary to let everyone know hes an accomplished fisherman. By everyone he obviously means Hatch.
Colby says Wow and DRs he is checking it in the back of his mind. Lex catches fish. Is Colby really this stupid? He knows hes competing against Lex.
For his part, Lex feels he has the favor of the girls right now. If he can show them he can provide them with food, they will feel no compulsion to keep the other two guys around. Is this episode really so dull? Why are we watching this tripe?
At Chaps R Us, Sue wanders alone on the beach. Alicia cleans coconuts. Yawwwn.
Now its Jenna, Rupert, and Ambers turn to go off for an alliance talk, Amber telling them she & Rawb feel theyre on the outs from Tom, Alicia and Sue. Rawb DRs that because he doesnt trust Rupert, he formed an alliance with him.
Rupert DRs about the trust issue. He does trust Jenna, and hopes he can trust the other two. Rawb tells them, I f you honestly honor your alliance, you go to the end, which doesnt really reflect his own experience but whatever. Then he DRs that he has an alliance now with everyone except Sue and Alicia.
:warning
